The Idiot's Guide to Love and Hate
by silvermoonstone23
Summary: When Yellow started at Saffron Academy, making friends was not on the agenda. But she knew in an instant that the wild group of unlikely friends she met would be impossible to ignore, despite the endless complications. Curse her dumb heart. {Oldrivalshipping, Specialshipping, Mangaquestshipping, and Franticshipping – high school AU, collaboration with Vexation9220!}


Ruby was either excited, nervous, or extraordinarily nauseous. It was hard to tell.

He brushed it off as jitters. He would be fine once he adjusted to his new surroundings. He just had to keep cool, as usual. But as he watched the trees whir past him outside the car window, each moment bringing him a little closer to his new home, he couldn't help but imagine the worst.

His father glanced at him. "Cold feet?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he answered. "I'm just worried, I guess. About the way my classmates will be. About finding my way."

"Ruby," Norman said, his voice edging in severity, "nobody knows you here. It's a fresh start. This is what you wanted, remember? It'll be better. Here, you can be whoever you want."

Ruby nodded absent-mindedly. He knew all of this rationally, but a small part of him was spiraling into the familiar depths of an old panic.

However, Ruby wasn't the same as he once was. He steeled himself, and by the time Norman pulled into the parking lot of the school, Ruby was a portrait of confidence. He eyed the campus as he unloaded the car. He'd seen pictures, yet they couldn't capture the atmosphere.

Saffron Academy. He would take this school by storm.

Norman helped him lug his bags to his dorm room and set them on one side of the room. Seeing the bare dorm with his luggage piled on a bed solidified his ideals of a new beginning, a new place to find his way.

His roommate hadn't arrived yet, so he and his father headed towards the offices in the main building. Upperclassmen who were new to the school needed to receive information packets and fill out papers. Ruby wasn't really paying attention to the process. There was an entirely different orientation for freshmen, who were all shepherded into the mammoth auditorium for some long and useless welcoming speech. Meanwhile, as a sophomore, he and a new blonde senior—the only students in the office at the moment—just got a quick hello, as if it was a side thought. Ruby didn't mind. He'd already read up on the school. He felt bad for the senior, though, who was all alone and looked kind of like a lost rabbit.

Outside, Norman put a hand on Ruby's shoulder. "I guess this is it, son."

"Yeah." His father always cared for him, but was typically brusque, and yet Ruby was ambushed with homesickness after he and his father exchanged a few more words of well-wishes and a hug, and Norman got into the car and drove away.

Ruby watched the car disappear, feeling like it was tugging a piece of his heart along with it.

More and more students were spilling off of buses and out of cars, luggage and family trailing behind them. He watched as friends reunited after the summer, and couldn't help thinking, _that might be me next year._

When he returned to his dorm, his roommate had arrived. He stuck out a hand and smiled. "Hey, man. I'm Red."

Ruby had already known his name and that he was a senior from the papers he'd gotten, but he shook Red's hand. "Ruby."

Red carried on unpacking. From the looks of things, Ruby observed gleefully, Red was not a slob, as Ruby had feared for in a roommate. Or someone obnoxious. And Red seemed to be nice and just slightly disorganized (they could work on that).

"Aw, score!" shouted a boy who hopped into the room from the open door. He appeared to be the type who could absorb all the attention in a room, and in the relatively small dorm, his presence was a vacuum. "I'm right downstairs from you, Red!"

Fortunately, Red was a nice guy, and tolerated even loudness. "That's great. Green and his roommate are just down the hall from me. We should go meet the new kid. He's a senior too.

"Yeah," said Commander of Attention. "And speaking of seniors, my roommate's sister is _so_ fine."

"Really? Do you know her name?"

"Uh...oh, that's right, it's Blue."

Red nodded. "I know her. I had classes with her."

"Dude, you gotta set me up."

Red laughed sheepishly. "She's a bit of a handful, and she's got a boyfriend."

Captain Distracto didn't seem concerned, partially because his attention had refocused on Ruby. "Hey, are you a newbie?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Ruby had thought, being a sophomore, he could get away with acting like he'd been there for a year already.

"Gold has pretty much got the school wired," Red said.

"Like you don't too, Red!" Gold shot back with a grin. "Damn, this dorm hall would be the dream if it was co-ed and Sapphy was here."

"Sapphy?" Ruby asked.

"Sapphire. She's my partner-in-crime, my platonic chick friend-"

"And she can beat you at almost anything," Red cut in.

"No she can't!" Gold denied.

Ruby had tuned out. Everything in the room suddenly felt too tight, too close, too real. He desperately needed air.

"Hey, I gotta go take care of some stuff," he said, pushing past the two black-haired boys to leave the room.

"Come sit with us in the dining hall at dinner!" Red called after him.

Out of the dorm building, in the fresh air, Ruby felt a little better. Watching the autumn sunset calmed him, but only slightly. _It's a common name,_ he tried to tell himself, but he couldn't shake the feeling that this was no coincidence. He pulled out his phone and dialed his home number.

"Ruby!" His mother's voice blared at him. "Are you there yet?"

"Yeah, Mum," he said. "We got here safe. Dad already left. I'm finding everything okay so far." He began an aimless trek down a cobblestone path.

His mum said, "Oh, I'm so glad you're alright. I want you to know we're all rooting for you. I'm sure you'll love this school."

"I think I might too." He already appreciated its atmosphere and appearance. The brick buildings and well-trimmed greens gave it a unique appeal. His apprehension was overshadowed by the bubbling desire to get involved in things he liked, making friends, learning the ropes. Even if he was a newbie, at least some people might not notice since he was a sophomore.

He was circling back towards the dorm and saw Red, Gold, and some strangers walking together in what must have been the direction of the dining hall. He ducked out of their vision, hoping none of them had seen him. It was unlikely, considering the students still arriving and rushing around  
His gaze landed on the brunette walking alongside Gold. It was far away, and it had been many years, plenty enough for someone to forget a face, but he never forgot hers. He almost couldn't believe it. Really, what were the odds? He knew his suspicions were correct, though.

Ruby had imagined the most horrible outcomes he could possibly think of, but this was even worse.

"Hey Mum?" he said hesitantly, back to his conversation. "Remind me again how you found out about this school?"

"From an old college friend," his mother answered. "She was telling me how it had wonderful programs, and you had asked about attending a boarding school, so I decided to show you the information about it. Actually...you used to play with her niece. Do you remember?"

"Of course. Sapphire."

* * *

Yellow was terrified of her roommate.

She stepped into the dorm only to be met with piercing jade eyes. A muscular-looking guy was unpacking his stuff, shoving neatly-folded clothes into the drawers of his dresser. He'd already claimed his side of the room, it seemed, so Yellow unloaded her bags on the other side in tense silence. This was the thing that she was afraid of most at Saffron Academy; not the classes or the social scene, but her roommate.

His name was Green. He only nodded at her when she entered, and afterwards apparently decided it was too late for words. His expression unfaltering and angry-looking.

And he had absolutely no idea that Yellow was a girl.

She knew it was absolutely wrong and probably illegal, but yes, she had disguised herself as a boy to attend Saffron Academy.

She knew—she _knew_ —she was smart enough to get into the school. She had worked so hard to get in on a scholarship, even for senior year, because just one year at the elite Saffron Academy would look amazing on her college transcript. But the school didn't have room for even one more girl. All of the heirs and rich kids had taken up the spots. But on an impulse, she applied for the scholarship as a boy and got in.

Her uncle, Wilton, was appalled at her decision to keep up the ruse that she was a boy, but supported her goal nonetheless. It had seemed like it was simpler before she had gotten off the bus at the campus and realised just what she had done. There was no going back.

Yellow swore she jumped right off the ground when the door to her dorm room burst open. "Green!" boomed a lively boy. His amber eyes fell upon Yellow. "Oh, hey! You're the new senior."

Yellow nodded, her throat too tight to allow words through.

"What are you doing here, Gold?" Green's scowl was still present, and he seemed to know this Gold boy, so Yellow tried to convince herself that he was this callous towards everyone.

"We wanted to welcome you back!" He glanced over his shoulder. "Hey, guys, get in here!" An entire flock of noisy boys flooded the room. Yellow was seized with panic. I'm not sure if I can handle this, she thought.

Quickly, she sought an escape. She grabbed a bagful of clothes and began to slither out of the room. "Hey, newbie-senpai!" Gold shouted. "Where ya goin'?"

"I-I have laundry to do!" she called back.

"Laundry? On the first day?"

Yellow didn't respond. Instead, she skittered into the laundry room, slamming the door shut and letting out as sigh. The explosive sounds of the boys' dormitory were muffled now. She was safe at last.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a voice behind her say, "You really have clothes to wash already?"

Yellow whirled around. A tall boy was wedged between a washer and a dryer, staring at her over his handheld game.

"Not really..." She stumbled over her words. "I mean-I'm just sort of hiding from my roommate. He has really loud friends."

"Me too," the boy said. "Well, the hiding part. My roommate appears to have an affinity for, um, fashion? He kept trying to lecture me about my outfit. When he unpacked a sewing machine, I booked it." The boy shut his game and smiled the most beautiful smile that Yellow had ever seen. "My name is Red."

"I'm Yellow." Feeling awkward, she slid to the ground, leaning up against the washer opposite him.

"What year are you?"

Yellow answered, "I'm a senior. I'm new this year."

Red's eyes got very round. "Oh, you're the new guy. Sorry, you just look really young."

"It's probably my height." _And the fact that I'm not actually a guy.  
_  
For whatever inexplicable reason, Red found this funny. Yellow pegged him as the kind of guy who would laugh at whatever, but her breath hitched when his eyes began to dance with amusement and his laughter sounded out. Her stomach shifted, a fuzzy, frightening feeling running through her. _Oh, no,_ she thought, _not now. Not this._

Yellow had liked boys before, and boys had liked Yellow, yet it never seemed to work out. It got to the point that she was a senior in high school and had never even been on a date. She figured that that would come whenever it did, and since she was pretending to be a guy and all, dating certainly was not on her agenda for the upcoming year. Not even friends were really on the agenda. The plan was to get good grades and get into college.

But she knew in an instant that Red would be impossible to ignore, despite the endless complications.

Curse her dumb heart.

Actually, curse Green too, because he decided to barge into the laundry room while Red was for some strange reason laughing. "Yellow-" Green began, then caught sight of the room's other occupant. "Oh. You've met Red."

"Hey, Green!" Red chirped. "Wait, is Yellow your roommate?"

"Yes," Green said. "Why are you—you know what, I don't even want to know. Do you two want to get food?"

Red rose. "Absolutely!" To Yellow's shock, he held a hand out to her. She took it, and he lifted her up. Yet she still had to crane her neck to see into his bright eyes. He was probably about a foot taller than her. He chuckled. "Wow, you really are short."

He started to exit with Green, then turned to her again. "Are you coming?"

Friends were not on Yellow's agenda.

"...Yeah, I'll come along."

But one dinner wouldn't hurt.

* * *

Silver already didn't like his roommate.

Sure, he'd seen Gold Aurum around the campus; he was pretty hard to ignore. He was the archetype of a delinquent, terrorizing teachers and gullible classmates alike. Silver had always dismissed the actions of him and his merry band of rebels with a simple eye roll, but he dreaded being unable to ignore the troublemaker now.

"If I kill him at some point this year, will you help me hide the body?" he asked his sister, who was walking him to his dorm.

She giggled. "Sure, but don't you think you should give him a chance?"

Silver didn't reply, and kept further criticism to himself.

"Hey, Sil, need any help with that?" Silver glanced over to see Blue's boyfriend approaching.

Silver offered him as much of a pleasant expression as he could ever muster. "Hey. I'm good."

His response was drowned out by Blue's squeals. She dropped her own bags and leapt into the arms of her boyfriend, who was thankfully empty-handed.

"Fancy meeting you two here," he said. "Looks like our dorms are in the same building, Sil, so—" He didn't get to finish, because Blue decided to start kissing him then.

Silver shook his head. "I'll see you later, Blue." He shouldered his bag and continued to his dorm alone.

When he opened the door to his room, it was thankfully empty. Good. He knew his roommate was Gold because of his scheduling papers, yet he was glad that he had a moment of peace.

The moment was a lot shorter than he'd hoped for.

"Hey roomie!"

Silver groaned inwardly. He'd already started unpacking a bit when Gold strode into the room and heaved a duffel bag that looked in danger of exploding onto the unclaimed bed. There was a "toxic" sign on the side of the bag. Silver wondered if it was supposed to be some sort of cruel joke.

"We've had class before, haven't we?" Gold asked. He stuck a hand out. "I'm Gold."

Warily, Silver shook his hand. "Silver."

The door was still open when Blue walked into the room, brandishing a wallet. "Silver, you dropped this."

Silver's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Thanks." He was pretty sure he would have noticed if he'd dropped it, which could only mean Blue had swiped it from him. He sighed. She just wanted to spy on him and his roommate.

Blue caught his eyes, made a subtle gesture to Gold, and gave Silver a look that read, _he's cute, isn't he?_

Silver gave her back a look that read, _please go away._

She grinned. "Pardon my interruption. Looks like I gotta go meet my roommate now too. See you at dinner, Silver."

Silver could hear his new roommate chuckle, and he whirled around to face him.

" _What,_ " he hissed.

"Nothing, nothing," Gold replied, his voice teasing. "I just didn't peg you for a ladies man." Silver growled. "She's my sister," he spat. Gold laughed.

Silver straightened up, realizing too late he had fallen right for Gold's ploy. Grumbling, the redhead began to unpack his luggage while his roommate hummed an unidentifiable song. Glancing up, Silver realized that Gold had already (messily) shoved his clothes into their respective drawers and seemed raring to take off. Silver deliberately slowed his movements and watched his new roommate out of the corner of his eye.

"Anyway, see ya Silvy! I've gotta go check on my buddy Red. Later!"

Silver blinked. What an asshole. Shaking his head, he put away the last of his clothes and sat on the bed, closing his eyes to be alone with his thoughts. His eyes suddenly snapped open in realization.

"... _Silvy_?!"

Taking a deep breath as she walked through the doors, Crystal shouldered her bag and strode into her new dorm. It was the morning of her very first day at Saffron Academy, and she was a tad nervous about her new roommate. Would she be the strong and silent type? A prankster? A geek? A party loving freak? She had no idea, but there was only one way to find out. Crystal shook herself out, trying to rid herself of the heavy tension in the air. She shut her eyes and tried to calm herself, but her nerves were jittering horribly. Not good. Taking one last power breath, she opened her eyes and looked up to see that her new roommate… wasn't even there.

"Well _that_ was disappointing…." she thought aloud.

"What was disappointing?" questioned a brunette as she sauntered into the room. Crystal let out a yip and whirled around.

"N- nothing!" she squeaked. The girl cocked and eyebrow and chuckled.

"I take it you're my new roommate?" the girl asked. Crystal silently cursed herself as she nodded. She had made a horrible first impression, it seemed. The girl simply smiled and offered a hand. "Sorry about that, my name's Blue! I was just helping my little brother get his luggage into his room. I mean, he pretty much wears the same clothes everyday, but a girl can try, am I right?" she joked. Crystal laughed, the tension in the air evaporating.

"Oh I get it. I have a little brother who goes here too, he's a sophomore named Emerald, and he hardly fits in any clothing. He's a…. strange size. Yeah, I'll go with that. Anyway, what's your brother's name?"

"Oh, my brother? He's the emotionless redhead, and his name's Silver. I think he's in your grade… you are a junior, right?" Crystal nodded. "Figured. I know just about everyone here and I didn't recognize your name on the senior roster list. You're…. Crystal, right?

"Yeah, but you call me Crys. Ev-"

Crystal was interrupted by the rather untimely appearance of a boy. Blue made a squealing noise, and Crystal's eyes widened. Blue wrapped her arms around said boy's neck and began snogging him in the doorway. Pursing her lips and trying to put the terrifyingly scarring scene out of her mind, Crystal shivered and turned back to her clothes bag, ready to unlock it and starting refolding her clothes for maybe the sixth time. Emerald would probably scold her, but hey, when you're a perfectionist you're a perfectionist.

Crystal hadn't had been at the school for twenty minutes and she'd already run into a dilemma. She had lost the key to her luggage. Desperately rummaging through her pockets returned nothing. Now her luggage was locked away; Crystal had already screwed herself over and hadn't even been in the building for an hour! In the midst of her panic, she didn't notice Blue stop making out with her boyfriend and make her way behind her.

"What's the matter?" Blue asked lightheartedly. Crystal nearly leapt off the bed in fear.

"I- i- i just…. i just lost the key to my luggage…" she admitted. Blue burst into laughter and Crystal shrunk down, her face red in embarrassment.

"You should'a said something!" Blue replied, waving Crystal away. The younger girl scooted aside, and Blue inspected the lock as she pulled a bobby pin from her hair.

"A tumbler lock? Easy," she muttered. Crystal watched in confusion and curiosity as the senior expertly picked the lock with her bobby pin. She was shocked, her roommate was certainly skilled with that little pin. Crystal would have to remember to keep track of her stuff in case it was swiped. Crystal trusted her new roommate, but there was no telling who had sticky fingers in an academy like this. For someone like Crystal, who only got in because of a well-earned academic scholarship, every penny counted, and it wasn't a terrible idea to keep your wallet on a tight leash.

"H- how did you-" Crystal stammered as Blue threw open the bag.

"Practice," Blue answered, cutting her off. "Oooooh! Cute shirt!" Crystal blushed as Blue removed her frilliest tank top and held it up to her chest. "Do you have…. you know….. a guy to impress?"

Crystal went red as a cherry tomato, stammering in embarrassment.

"N- no," she admitted. Blue leaned in with an all-knowing grin, and Crystal shrunk back. All it took was one look into Blue's ocean colored eyes and Crystal snapped.

"Not yet," she whispered to the bed. Blue leapt back with an excited squeal, and twirled around the room like a crushing anime teen.

"We're gonna get Cryssy a boyfriend!" Blue announced far too loudly. Crystal turned even redder and glanced out the door. Thankfully no one was there. Wait. Someone _was_ there. Crystal paled, locking eyes with a black haired girl who looked young enough to be a freshman. Her grey eyes were wide in surprise, and Crystal mouthed "I'm sorry" while offering her guiltiest expression. The girl, upon realizing Crystal was talking to her, tensed up slightly, then tried to walk away as regally as possible. She looked like a scared teen who had seen far too much.

Blue, who was observing the scene with interest after her little… _outburst_ , finally piped up.

"I probably just scared that poor little rich girl. Oh well, that kid's got a big storm coming if things work as they normally do. I almost feel sorry for her." Blue paused. "Well at least she's got style and class, that'll get her a date at least. In fact, if she weren't a froshe I'd date her myself!"

The senior laughed aloud at Crystal's expression.

"Ohoho! Don't worry kid, I'm bisexual, but I won't hit on you. You're not my type."

Crystal found that any words had dried up on her lips, and she sat there silently opening and closing her mouth like a dying carp.

 _Smooth_ , Crystal, she thought. _Real smooth._ Blue grinned, flashing her perfect teeth, then rocked on her heels as she checked her watch.

"Ooo yes! It's dinnertime, my favorite time!" Grabbing Crystal's wrist, she pulled the two of them out of the room. Crystal barely managed to shut the door before Blue had dragged her down the hallway.

"I'll introduce you to my brother, my friends, and even my boyfriend! It'll be great, you'll get to meet a ton of people and I'll be there to help every step of the way!" the senior said with a grin. Crystal found herself nodding and biting her lip. This new roommate was either a blessing or a curse… Only time would tell.

* * *

Platina had not been in the school for thirty seconds and she already was scarred for life. Shuddering inwardly, she tightened her grip on her bag. What if her roommate was like that? She could deal with the blue haired girl, but the brunette? Oh hell no. She wouldn't have any hair left by the end of the week, she'd yank it all out. It seemed Platina was the only one in the hallway at the moment, and the only sound was the whirr of rotating fans and her own footsteps. Checking her rooming assignment one last time, she realized that her room was the next one on the left.

"Oh great," she thought. "I'm in the same hallway as _those two_." Rolling her eyes, she went to the door of her supposed room. Her roommate, whose name was apparently Sapphire, was probably already here. Platina felt rather ashamed and nervous, her butler Sebastian had stopped for fifteen minutes to let a family of ducklings cross the road. Now Platina was late, and being untimely was not a part of her agenda. Not that she could blame Sebastian though. Only ducks. _Ducks._ Platina had a strange dislike for those fluff muffins. They were just weird, with their shiny feathers and unnaturally colored bills. Ugh. But nevermind the ducks, Platina had a roommate to meet. Smoothing out her skirt, Platina made herself look presentable and opened the door, wearing her most polite smile.

But when she saw the girl dangling from the ceiling and shouting at the top of her lungs, Platina's smile drooped into a bitchface. Blinking in irritation, she silently shut the door and turned around. Platina simply walked to the other wall and gently banged her head against it a few times.

"Screw this school," she muttered. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Platina adjusted her hair clips and opened the door again. This time the girl sat on one of the beds, swinging her legs.

"Heya roomie!" she announced cheerily. Platina gave a small wave out of instinct, her attention instead focused on the state of the room around her. The girl had various outfits strewn around the room, and various notebooks and and field equipment everywhere. Not to mention she seriously needed to shave her legs. Platina could already see how messy and disorganized her roommate was, and how much of a disaster it would be to maintain her cool.

"So, hey kid, ya name is…. Platinum?" she questioned, her rural accent thick and obvious.

Platina narrowed her eyes and tried not to scream. She could not believe this. She had a naïve anime protagonist and an obnoxious senior for neighbors, and a _barbarian_ for a roommate.

"You may call me Missy," she explained to her roommate.

"Huh?" Sapphire asked quizzically.

"You may call me Missy," Platina repeated.

Sapphire looked shocked, offended, and ready to punch someone, all at the same time.

"Pla-"

"Missy."

"Alright fine, _missy_ , wanna go to dinner with me? You're new here, so I can introduce you to all my friends. I think we can become good friends regardless. Besides… you're kinda stuck with me."

Platina was taken aback by the older girl's display of friendship. She stood there in shock, trying to process the information. Was it really her that was in the wrong here? She tried hard to make a good impression, but she _knew_ she couldn't let anyone know that someone as rich as her was actually attending the school. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Platina nodded silently and tossed her bag onto her bed. The wild girl leapt up in excitement, grinned, and burst out the door into the hallway. Platina quickly shut the door and power walked after her roommate, who had shot towards the dining hall at the speed of light. Sighing softly, Platina shook her head and smiled. While this wasn't the afternoon she expected, she knew from then on that this would be an adventure.

* * *

The pile—or, rather, mountain—of food on Diamond's plate was only three inches high when someone stopped him in the line for food.

"Are you Diamond?" a boy asked. Diamond liked his hair. It stuck up in weird places and made the boy seem more hectic and real.

"Yes," he said.

The boy's face twisted in annoyance. "You're late! I should fine you for this! And you didn't even stop at the room before getting food!" It was true; Diamond's backpack was still on, and his bags at an empty table in the dining hall. He'd only just arrived on campus in time for dinner, and figured he might as well eat before he went to his room.

"Are you my roommate?" he asked.

"Yes!" The boy clearly didn't know the meaning of the words _inside voices_. "I'm Pearl!"

Diamond smiled. "Nice to meet you!"

Pearl made a series of incredulous sputtering noises. "How are you so casual?! I'm mad that you're late and didn't show up to the room!"

Diamond shrugged, scooping some potato salad onto his platter. "Well, at least you got your pick of which side of the room you want. Should we eat together?"

Pearl halted, caught off-guard. "Uh...sure?"

"Great. Where do you want to sit?"

Suddenly, Diamond felt like a child in elementary school again, unsure of where to go in the great big cafeteria. But he figured he would have the next four years to work things out, and, well, at least he already knew one person. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

 _A/N: Oh, Dia has no idea..._

 _Hey there! Welcome to our terrible high school AU! The two of us figured that since we love Pokespe, we might as well try our hand at writing our own bad high school AU. Hopefully it goes well? Only time will tell.  
Updates will most likely be sporadic, but we're both working on it together! You might be able to pick up on who writes which section, or maybe not.  
Anyways, we really hope you like the story as it continues on! We've got some surprises in store!  
Thanks for reading!  
-Vex and Silvia  
_ _(P.S. Silvia would like to say: "I AM VERY VERY SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. Rant over. Read on.")_

 **Disclaimer: We do not own Pokemon, or anything else!**


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